The Cotswold Way Reflection: I did it my way😊

After a bit of an emotional and tiring day on day 4 I actually took the decision to come home instead of going to the B&B for what was supposed to be my last overnight stop on the route. The 4 days ultimately served their purpose: I got fresh air, peace and quiet and time to reflect on things and because of that I returned much calmer. I also feel good for challenging myself, doing some exercise and spending time in the outdoors. Slightly annoyed I didn’t complete the whole thing but I gave it a go and considering how the reality of it all panned out, I think I did myself proud.

I know it must be scary reading some of my posts; I really don’t mean to upset anyone but I want to be honest because it’s helping me recover and I hope it’s helping in a wider sense in contributing to an honest, no-bullshit conversation about dealing with a mental health illness. Showing the ups and downs all at once shows how not so black and white depression is. You can feel elated yet down at the same time; motivated and disinterested all at once; brave and scared in the same instance. It really is bloody confusing! And I know it must be like that for people on the outside looking in, not knowing how I (or others with depression) are feeling. But I can tell you one thing: support, no matter how big or small, makes the world of difference. I don’t expect anyone to understand this illness – especially when I don’t myself – but knowing there are people who care about you along the way despite not understanding is what really matters.

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£1000 milestone achieved 😊 A much needed boost this week – THANK YOU 🌟🌟🌟

After the shambles that was Monday’s run (see Run #26 post) I was feeling rather disappointed, dejected and, without using the word lightly, pretty depressed. While I didn’t achieve the goal set for my training at the start of the week, I did achieve another milestone this week. Or rather, you did.

Everything I see this in my inbox, my heart jumps:

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It genuinely doesn’t matter what the amount donated is, it’s the thought that someone either cares about me or cares about the cause I’m fundraising for – or both – that makes my heart jump. I’m starting to enjoy *some* running but I’m not doing this challenge for me. I’m doing it because I care about raising money and awareness for mental health illnesses, particularly depression and anxiety, because of my own experience and the experience of so many others I know, whether they may be direct or indirect. So when I’m having a bad day with my head or a bad day with my legs, having a little email drop in my inbox displaying a message of support for me and a figure of support for the Mental Health Foundation, then I know the pain I’m feeling is worth it.

Thank you to all those have sponsored me over the past few months – every single donation, every single word, every single penny makes a massive difference.

Now to continue to rack up those miles and hopefully the pounds, too…