The Cotswold Way Reflection: I did it my way😊

After a bit of an emotional and tiring day on day 4 I actually took the decision to come home instead of going to the B&B for what was supposed to be my last overnight stop on the route. The 4 days ultimately served their purpose: I got fresh air, peace and quiet and time to reflect on things and because of that I returned much calmer. I also feel good for challenging myself, doing some exercise and spending time in the outdoors. Slightly annoyed I didn’t complete the whole thing but I gave it a go and considering how the reality of it all panned out, I think I did myself proud.

I know it must be scary reading some of my posts; I really don’t mean to upset anyone but I want to be honest because it’s helping me recover and I hope it’s helping in a wider sense in contributing to an honest, no-bullshit conversation about dealing with a mental health illness. Showing the ups and downs all at once shows how not so black and white depression is. You can feel elated yet down at the same time; motivated and disinterested all at once; brave and scared in the same instance. It really is bloody confusing! And I know it must be like that for people on the outside looking in, not knowing how I (or others with depression) are feeling. But I can tell you one thing: support, no matter how big or small, makes the world of difference. I don’t expect anyone to understand this illness – especially when I don’t myself – but knowing there are people who care about you along the way despite not understanding is what really matters.

Run #4 Reflection: Well, I turned up at least!

A short post because I got distracted writing another post I’m yet to finish and only just realised the time – I need my beauty sleep!

As you’ll soon find out in the pending post, I haven’t ran for a couple of weeks. I won’t wang on about why here. And I won’t wang on about how crap today’s run was either. Essentially, I was too warm, too slow and too unfit. Oh, and I lost a glove… twice! But as the vibrations on my wrist reverberated signals to my brain (my Fitbit telling me I’d reached 10,000 steps) I at least realised that today I showed up to my run and gave it a go. I know as time goes on I’ll need to be tougher with myself if I’m actually to run any part of the London Marathon but for now, with still 4 long wintry months to go, I think it’s enough to give myself a pat on the back for at least going out for a run / jog / walk / wander. Next time though, I need to do a bit more to get a pat on the back.

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Run #4 Rating & Reflection

Achievement = 3

Bit disappointed in how much I’ve lost in 2 weeks in terms of habit, fitness, stamina and just sheer grit. I know if I put it all in to context given the past 2 weeks the achievement rating should probably be higher but I know I can do better than today.

Enjoyment = 1

As I said, too warm, too slow and too unfit. Although I did run across my favourite part of Bristol: the suspension bridge. Still not enough to lift the run’s enjoyment rating. Onwards and upwards…